


Unsettled

by ominousrum



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Heavy Angst, Horror, Horror AU, I can't give too much away plot-wise in the tags and warnings but it's sufficiently devastating, I would say I'm sorry but I'm really not, but really don't read it if you're not prepared for chilling horror, like a thousand tonnes of angst, so if that's not your thing you may want to steer clear, some scary and gory scenes, very occasional fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:17:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9784646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ominousrum/pseuds/ominousrum
Summary: Things are not as they seem in Arendelle...





	1. Chapter 1

Anna heard the rain before she could confirm it by sight. She tossed and stretched in bed, the fog in her head dispersing, giving way to the rapid pelting on her window pane. She followed the sound into consciousness and her half-opened eyes noted that no sunlight had dared to break through the curtains.

There was a dull ache at the base of her neck, she tried to loosen its tension, rolling her head around her shoulders. The memories of the previous evening came swirling around her head like gnats. Elsa. She had fought with Elsa over her starting to slowly, deliberately distance herself again.

Anna rose slowly, her bare feet pierced by the cold stone underfoot. She shuffled towards the window and drew open the heavy velvet curtains. _I said things I shouldn’t have. I hurt her._

Anna’s face crumpled in pain as she recalled the sheer volume of their argument. Kai had come in midway, an alarmed look on his face. His eyes darted between the look on Anna’s face and the frost unfurling up the walls of the study. Elsa had masked the sadness on her face with a stiff smile. “We’re fine, Kai. I’m sorry to disturb you at this late hour.”

After Kai’s interruption, Elsa had cast her eyes to the floor and said she was very tired. They would return to this discussion another time, she hoped with quieter discourse.

_Now your secret’s out, you want to just go back to ignoring me?_

_Of course I don’t, Anna. I… I never wanted to ignore you._

Anna closed her eyes, the inside of her skull throbbing insistently.

_The kingdom is safe so I may as well avoid Anna! She would only screw things up, anyway._

_Anna that’s not true…_

The hairs on the back of her arms started to rise. Anna pulled the sleeves of her nightgown down around her. Anna looked to the harbour, the edge just visible from her bedroom.

_Do you not trust me enough to help? You shouldn’t carry the burden of this rule alone, Elsa!_

_There are many burdens you have no concept of, Anna._

Anna felt the damp in her bones as she watched the clouds gather, low and grey. Maybe there were burdens she didn’t understand. The line between protection and willful ignorance of the pain inflicted was not something she wanted to dance along again. Anna knew she had approached Elsa all wrong. There was no logic or reason, only heated words sent from her lips like shards of glass. Piercing through all illusions.

Anna hadn’t paused at the look on Elsa’s face. Her lips quieted any reserve, her lungs summoning sound and air for her vitriol with ease. In hindsight Anna felt nothing but guilt. Guilt because in looking back at what should have given her pause, Anna saw Elsa not only hurt. Anna had seen acceptance shine behind Elsa’s eyes. It hadn’t just been defeat and sadness. Elsa felt she had deserved the tirade Anna had subjected her to. It was this fact that gnawed at Anna’s heart, her chest tightening.

 ***

Anna wasn’t sure how long she stared out the window or of the hour at all. The sun’s presence was not known today. A large bird flew across her view and broke her thought. She felt cold spike through her feet, splintering into every muscle.

I need to find Elsa.

Anna dressed quickly, her fingers stumbling as she laced her corset. She twisted her hair into a high pile on the top of her head, winding it around and pinning it in place. She pulled her stockings up and slipped her feet numbly into her embroidered flat shoes.

The castle grounds of Arendelle were often more subdued Sundays. There were rarely any diplomats wanting to discuss foreign trade, no high teas to attend. Anna was occasionally able to steal Elsa away for a walk around the garden or a cup of tea. Today Anna felt an unsettling silence seep into the air as though ink flowed in rivers across every scene. She caught sight of Gerda as she rounded a corner.

“Gerda!” Anna’s voice strangled in her throat, sounding far more desperate than she intended.

Gerda leaned back in surprise her expression changing into apprehension once she spotted Anna. Anna tried her best to smile. She felt like a fraud.

“Anna, my dear. I was going to wake you in another thirty minutes if you hadn’t gotten up by then! Elsa told us to let you sleep but it’s close to noon now.”

“Elsa told you… Where is Elsa? I need to speak with her.” Anna bit her bottom lip, wincing slightly as the force of it caught her off guard. Her eyes folded* with worry.

“Elsa had to go to a kingdom a fortnight away, my dear. She left close to dawn today.” Gerda placed a hand on Anna’s arm.

“What? No. No, she can’t be at sea. Have you… did you see the storm?” Anna flung her arm out of Gerda’s grasp, gesturing wildly to the windows in the great hall. Anna could feel her stomach bubbling with fear.

“It was quite clear and bright this morning, Anna, trust me. Elsa and her fleet are sailing in the opposite direction of the storm now; they should not encounter any trouble.” Gerda gave her best attempt at a reassuring smile. Anna saw Gerda’s left hand twist in the folds of her apron. Her stomach sank further.

“Our parents… They didn’t expect trouble, either.” Anna swayed slightly, her heart thundering against her ribcage. She didn’t notice the blood on her lip until the copper taste hit her tongue.

“Come into the dining room, dear, and I’ll get you some breakfast. You must be starving – you barely touched your dinner last night. Quite unlike our Anna.” Gerda laughed, carefully avoiding looking Anna in the eye. “Oh! I nearly forgot – Elsa left you a note, Kai was carrying it around this morning.”

“A note?” Anna choked, her voice dying as soon as it parted from her lips. Her mouth was suddenly bone dry.

Gerda guided Anna to the dining room and gently placed her hands on her shoulders to push her into a waiting chair. “Sit, dear. I’ll go find him.”

Anna couldn’t sit still. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked to the painting opposite her. The once joyous faces of people gathering around a maypole now seemed to flash with dark glee. Anna closed her eyes and exhaled. She couldn’t lose her sister. Not after she had finally gotten her back.

Gerda stepped into the room with a tray of porridge and berries, surmjølk and sweet buns. Anna inhaled the scent of flowery tea as Gerda poured the water into a teacup.

“Kristoff.” Anna exclaimed, eyes blazing as she dug her fingers into Gerda’s arm. “I need Kristoff. Please send someone for him.”

“I’m sure ice master Bjorgman will be calling on you tomorrow – didn’t he allude to as much on his last visit?” Gerda spoke softly, moving a wisp of Anna’s hair that had unwound itself from her bun and was snaking towards her neck.

“No, I need him here now. I just- _Please_ , Gerda.” Anna became conscious of the pressure she was applying to Gerda’s arm and promptly released her, her fingers hovering a moment as though her hand had acted disembodied.

“Yes, Anna. I will have Petter find him at once.”

“Thank you.” Anna could feel the tension in her brow ebb slightly as she sat back into the dining chair. She raised the teacup, cradling its warmth in her small hands. It very nearly flew out of them once Kai came to give her Elsa’s note.


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear Anna,_

_I’m sorry this letter will find you after I am already gone, I sincerely hope that it doesn’t add to the list of grievances you have with me._

_I think we have both tried too hard to keep up appearances and have not said what is truly in our hearts. I understand now that you believed me to be shutting you out again, to not seem to have any time for you, to not include you in the important affairs that I as queen must deal with._

_I believe there is a grain of truth in your accusation, although not in the way you may think. It is true I could have delegated some of my responsibilities and made more time for you. I apologize I was not more honest with you, Anna. In truth, I didn’t know how to act around you. I know you love me and that your heart doesn’t carry the burden of blame against me for all those years of isolation. My heart still does. The guilt of all those years apart still pains me._

_I should have admitted all of this to you and for that I ask for your forgiveness. I know now that the only way I can truly forgive myself is to talk about all of this. With you. I finally understand what you meant by our getting through this together; we haven’t seen the other side just yet._

_I have to go away on urgent business to dispel any trouble before it reaches Arendelle. I will likely be gone for four weeks. I will write as soon as I have a spare moment. Please take good care of yourself, Anna. I trust you and Kristoff will be mindful of Kai and Gerda’s instructions and that you will conduct yourself like the princess you are._

_I will see you again soon._

_Love,_

_Elsa_

Anna tried to steady her hands from shaking as she carefully folded the letter and laid it on the table. The tears would not stop flowing from her eyes, spilling over the edge as she stared silently at the wax seal, now broken. The blood red wax curved into a snowdrop, an intricate crown hovering just above it.

_I’m sorry, Elsa. I never wanted to add to your pain. I wish you were here to talk to. I wish you were here._ Anna jumped as a roar of thunder echoed throughout the castle, the windows rattled in distress. She rose slowly and walked towards the windows in the hall. Anna suddenly felt as though she was attempting to walk through heavy snow.  The sky was dark grey from thick, menacing clouds tinged with green. Anna clung to the window frame, knuckles drained of all colour.

“Anna, Ice Master Bjo-“ Gerda spoke barely over a whisper as she stepped towards Anna.

“Anna!” A very wet, very worried Kristoff was suddenly at her side. Gerda gave Anna a tiny nod before retreating to the dining room.

 Anna flung her arms around his neck and pressed herself into him. She felt his arms tighten around her as she buried her face deeper into his wet tunic.

 “Anna, what is it? I’ve never been summoned to the castle. I thought-“ Kristoff broke apart to see her face, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear. “I thought something had happened to you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I just needed you here.” Anna watched relief break across Kristoff’s face as he pulled her close once more to embrace her. She heard his heartbeat gradually slow from the stampede it embodied moments earlier. Anna felt herself dissolve into him with a small smile.

“You’ve got me. What’s wrong, though? Is it Elsa?”

Anna broke apart and began to chew her bottom lip. Lightning flashed in the courtyard with a soft crack. She hadn’t seen a storm this violent before.

“We had a fight. Well I mean, I yelled at her and basically called her a terrible sister who didn’t care about me at all and I didn’t even stop to **think** about what I was saying, it was all blabbermouth Anna on the loose and- I _hurt_ her, Kristoff.” Anna sighed heavily.

“Anna I’m sure you and Elsa can get through this. You’ve had a rocky past, I’ll admit but-“

“She left this morning by ship and won’t be back for at least four weeks.” Anna said flatly. The thunder rolling as though it were in her very bones, threatening to rattle her apart. “She left me a note.”

“Four weeks will fly by! We can ride into the mountains whenever we like, maybe have that picnic you’re always talking about…” Kristoff placed his hand gently on Anna’s shoulder.

“Don’t you get it?” Anna turned on her heel and shouted at the window, tears starting to pool again in the corners of her eyes. “She may not come back at all!”

“Anna-“ Kristoff spoke softly.

“They didn’t.” Anna’s skin pulsed with an undefinable heaviness. Surely the walls were edging closer to her. Closing her eyes she could almost hear screams of surprise, wooden planks splintering, the roar of the water…

Kristoff’s palm was suddenly on the small of her back, warmth radiating out from his fingers to spread into her very veins. Inhaling sharply, her eyes flew open. Kristoff’s head was titled toward her, his face contorted with concern.

_Years. It’s been **years** , Anna_. _Just breathe._ Breathe, she told herself.

“You rarely talk about them.” Kristoff offered a sad smile. “Maybe you should.”

Anna leaned her head against his chest, trying to will her thoughts to dissipate with her exhalation. “You always say you can’t get a word in edgewise. Now you’re saying I should talk more…” A smile began to tug at the corner of her mouth.

Kristoff gave a small laugh, his lips brushing against her forehead before stopping to place a kiss. Anna felt the kiss anchor something chaotic inside her. She was so grateful to have him here.

The pair jumped apart at the sound of Gerda clearing her throat pointedly. A flush crept across Kristoff’s usually stoic face.

“Perhaps Ice Master Bjorgman would like to stay for tea? I can have the kitchen make some stew for you to share, and there are fresh loaves of bread. You can retire to the library in the meantime.”

“Yes. Thank you, Gerda.” Anna looked at her appreciatively, catching a twinkle of affection in the caretaker’s gaze.

“Oh and Ice Master Bjorgman? Queen Elsa did advise before her departure you are welcome to reside in the guest chambers in the East wing if you wish.” Gerda eyed Kristoff with something akin to approval.

Kristoff stammered “Me? Welcome… in the castle? Here?”

“Assuming of course you respect the nobility of Arendelle and the rules of the castle.”

Kristoff nodded, wordlessly, the flush of crimson across his cheeks deepening.

“Very good. There is of course room in the stables for your… reindeer, was it?”

“He’s just outside, under the canopy in the garden.” Kristoff pausing to glance down at his sodden wool tunic that had been pooling water on the castle floor, unnoticed.

“His name is Sven!” Anna interjected, curling her arm around Kristoff’s and dragging him towards the library. “Could you make sure Petter takes him to dry off in the stables? Thanks again, Gerda. I am starting to get hungry after all.”


	3. Chapter 3

Anna awoke to the sun spreading its warmth slowly across her face. The night had ended with her curled up by the window, curtains wrenched apart; Anna willing divination from the waves rising and falling to ascertain just how much danger Elsa was in. She had somehow found her way into bed but had drawn the covers haphazardly around her, leaving exposed limbs cold to the touch. 

The brightness of the sunshine worked its will to chip away her worry into a smoothed pebble from the jagged rock of the day before. It caught in her lungs every so often but the breaths themselves came unencumbered. Today there was light of another source, Anna smiled. _Kristoff is here._

Anna forced her stiff body into action, tugging at undergarments and stockings until she knew Gerda would deem her fit to parade around in public. 

In the hallway, Anna noted the air smelled sweeter, as if the pall of yesterday’s weather had masked the dusky lilies and elderflowers. _Surely that’s just a trick of the mind,_ Anna dismissed. _The windows aren’t even open yet (Gerda no doubt busy with breakfast). What a little sunlight can do!_

The scent of freshly baked bread swirled around Anna’s stomach, eliciting a low rumble. She shuffled faster towards the dining room. Kristoff came into view, perched rather awkwardly on a cushioned chair, the frame digging into his broad back.

“Ah, there is our sleepy princess now!” Gerda announced with an affectionate lilt. Kristoff turned to catch Anna’s eye, a smile breaking almost involuntarily across his face. Anna’s heart leapt a fraction at the shadow across his cheek. _He hasn’t shaved yet._

“Who can sleep when there’s bread to be eaten?” Anna said, pulling a chair closer to Kristoff with a stifled yawn. 

“How did you sleep?” Kristoff failed to conceal the worry filtering into his tone as he reached for the small pot of cloudberry jam on the table, knife at the ready to slather onto the bread on his plate. 

“Hmm, I think I managed a couple of hours.” Anna’s eyes watered as another yawn overtook her. “Probably not enough. Definitely not well.”

“The weather has definitely improved!” Gerda said cheerfully as she poured a fresh cup of tea, pausing to fuss at the stray strands of hair escaping Anna’s braids. 

“Mhmmm!” Anna mumbled with a mouthful of porridge.

“Perhaps you two could work in the garden this morning? The cabbages look ready to harvest.”

Anna grabbed Kristoff’s arm, the milk in his glass sloshing onto the table. “We can pick the vegetables and then we can make them into dinner together!”

Gerda swallowed a breath, spluttering coughs as she desperately tried to clear her throat. 

“I uh.. I’m not used to cooking in an actual kitchen. At least not one as fancy as I’m sure the one here is.”

“We’ll be fine! It’ll really just be a lot of chopping and tasting our efforts as we go. What could go wrong?” Anna blinked, her eyes finally shifting the last remnants of sleep in favour of excitable sparkling. 

Gerda opened her mouth, having finally regained her composure, only to shut it and let a smile freeze on her lips. 

***

 

The rhythmic hollow sound of hoofs across cobblestones began to echo in their ears as Anna and Kristoff sat digging up vegetables in the royal garden. 

Anna frowned as she watched a messenger approach the gates with a large package; the castle guards accepting it with a swift nod.

“Something wrong?” Kristoff asked, watching Anna’s face fall. 

“No, no. I was just thinking how long it will be before I get a message from Elsa. Or even for anything I write to reach her.” Anna’s hands pressed dirt back into the spaces once holding cabbage roots as she gave a small shrug.

“On the plus side, maybe it’s a package of new kinds of chocolate that you can have tonight for dessert.” Kristoff folded his hand over hers, giving it a squeeze before turning his attention back to freeing the cabbages from their homes. 

Kristoff wiped the sweat from his brow, the dust on his face leaving tactile traces. The neck of his tunic revealing an eyeful of glistening muscles. _This really was the **best** idea._. Anna gave a sly smile as she gathered their hard work into waiting baskets. 

Her own freckles were now clouded with a soft coating of dirt, the hem of her dress almost unrecognizable from the pale yellow it inhabited in the morning. 

“How are you finding the castle, by the way?” Anna started softly as the two headed back inside. “I’m sure it must be an adjustment..”

“That may just be the understatement of the century.” Kristoff laughed.

“I’m sorry. It’s selfish of me to make you uncomfortable just because I want you around.” Anna’s teeth found her bottom lip, beginning a merciless assault. 

“Hey- I’ll get used to it. I want to be here.” The look in his eyes set her momentarily off balance, a cabbage breaking free and rolling hurriedly out of sight. 

“Really?” 

“No place I would rather be.” 

Anna didn’t bother try to hide the grin that made her cheeks ache. 

***

 

By the time dinner was ready to be served, Anna was exhausted. She had been tempted to crawl into the hot bath awaiting her and sleep the rest of the day away; the thought of spending time with Kristoff the only thing forcing her eyes open. She also lamented their respective rooms being so far apart. _I can’t even help introduce him to our bathing customs.._ Anna pouted. 

Gerda had tried her best not to be too underfoot as she had watched Anna and Kristoff destroy her immaculate kitchen. Anna reflected that they had done an admirable job in containing the chaos right up until Anna had slammed her head into a copper pot, sending the rest crashing one by one to the floor. 

The final soup was flavourful, if not a tad too sickly green in colour, and they had managed to peel and roast the potatoes without doing the same to their exposed skin. Anna had declared it a triumph as Kristoff had tried his best to pile their used dishes and utensils into a stack near the washing basin, accidentally elbowing more cookware onto the floor in the process. 

 _One of many dinners together, I hope._ Anna fashioned a ribbon to her hair, having changed out of her apron and wiped away splotches of butter from her arms. _Soon Elsa will be back and we can make her a special welcome home dinner!_

Dinner was spread out for them, pickled herring and thinly sliced vegetables followed by their vegetable soup in a giant silver tureen, a plate nearly overflowing with roasted potatoes to accompany everything. Gerda had sliced another loaf of rye thickly, butter shining slickly across the surface of the slices fanned across a large platter. 

“We have a special treat to end dinner tonight.” Gerda beamed as she brought a tray of delicately shaped truffles to the small side table adjacent to their dinner feast. 

“Told you.” Kristoff muttered as Anna’s face lit up.

“From King Dahlberg, one of your father’s oldest friends.”

“Beautiful!” The small designs laid into the chocolate bore the emblem of Arendelle’s flag, along with larger pieces displaying Anna and Elsa’s initials. 

“He also sent two bottles of akvavit. I’m sure her majesty wouldn’t begrudge you both a small apertif with your herring.” Gerda placed small crystal glasses at either side of their plates. 

Kristoff waited until Gerda’s back was turned before raising the glass to his nose for an exploratory sniff. His lip curled up in disappointment. 

Anna barely contained her giggle. The cool of the tulip-shaped glass soothing her tired hands. The strong liquer was no stranger to the royal table, though Anna couldn’t stomach it in large doses. A small sip helped to cut the acidity of the herring, too much burned the spices into the tongue. 

A brief flick of her wrist towards Kristoff in salutation and the drink was gliding down her throat; the heat of the alcohol burning its memory onto her palette. 

Anna set the glass down and reached for the herring. She jerked violently backwards as all feeling drained from her outstretched limb.

Confusion seeped through where calm had once dwelt, casting it out with a swiftness that stole Anna’s breath. A bitter sensation rose from her stomach, lapping at the back of her teeth as all of her other senses deadened. **_No.._**  

Her eyes failed to follow the direction as she tried to focus on Kristoff, rolling wildly with only grey falling within her view. Piercing screams were sounding around her. Had she made them?

Kristoff’s voice reached out to her like an imaginary rope pulling her into consciousness; calling her name as though she couldn’t hear him. Anna realized it was the sound of unbridled fear. _Why are you so far away? You were right across from me, where have you gone?_  Terror broke in waves as Anna’s mind slipped further down into the dark. 

Anna shuddered as she sank to the floor. Had she moved? She couldn’t feel the movement. She inhaled a last metallic breath before succumbing to the nothingness waiting for her.


	4. Chapter 4

Anna’s eyes fluttered slowly trying to open, as though fighting a strong undertow. Lashes finally gave way to the amber of her bedroom ceiling. Her pupils swam lazily, struggling to focus as she began to notice the sweat on her skin. Blankets pulled up to her chin, completely smooth and tucked in at the corners. _Is this even my room? How did I get here?_

Anna exhaled a hot and panicked breath as she rose to pull the covers off of her. The underdress she was wearing was soaked through, her damp skin cooling as the excess fabric was removed. She stumbled on numb legs towards her vanity, surprised to find her hair still braided as it fell onto her shoulders. Her heart slowed slightly as she started to recognize her surroundings. It was indeed her brush on the table and her wild-eyed, freckled face staring back her in the mirror. A soft blue glow was creeping past the edges of the heavy curtains, beckoning dawn to her tired eyes. 

Memories of the day before seemed to slip through her mind like water from cupped hands, leaking steadily until only the very basic inklings remained. They had worked in the garden all day, then sat down to dinner. Kristoff and Gerda and her – was Kai there? She couldn’t be sure – her tongue jumped at the ghost of the pickled herring. Anna licked her lips, finding them dry and cracking in several places. _What came after the herring?_ Akvavit had been there, Anna nodded to herself. Her ears began to hum with an increasing intensity until breaking off into a high-pitched tone and fading into the stillness of the room. Whatever had come after the akvavit, it had receded into her brain, refusing to be coaxed out. 

Now having released herself from the stuffy, oppressive heat of her bed, Anna found the morning air working a delicate chill into her bones. Beads of sweat turning into raised prickles across her skin, salty and shivering. Anna longed to wash away her unease along with the sticky acidity on her skin. 

She walked to the adjoining room, the copper of her bathing tub dark grey under the sunless light from the open window. Small tendrils of steam were billowing from two buckets in the corner of the room; Anna drew back in shock. She hadn’t even heard Gerda this morning. _Gerda was never usually so early._

Anna lifted a bucket up and peered down into the water, pausing to give it a sniff before dipping her little finger in. Definitely hot, though not scalding; she wiggled her finger decidedly. Her brow furrowed as she poured the water into the tub; it smelt of nothing other than vaguely of the earth it no doubt was pulled from. The second bucket followed the first, Anna’s muscles barely registering any effort on her part. She stripped away her nightdress in seconds, limbs suddenly lithe and springy as she lowered herself into the bath. A sharp metallic sensation sprouted in her mouth as she submerged; birds beginning their songs as the sky continued to brighten. 

***

 

Anna had dressed slowly after her bath, still trying to piece together her broken recollection of dinner. Hands moving to plait her hair automatically, teeth finding their well-worn home sinking in to her bottom lip. A knock at the door jolted her conscious mind into action. 

“I’ve left your breakfast outside your door, Anna. Whenever you’re ready, dear.” Gerda’s voice came muffled as Anna flew to open her door, eager to see a friendly face. 

“Gerda! _Gerda!_ ” she yelled as she watched her walk swiftly away, rounding the corner without a backward glance. 

Worry sat full and immovable in her chest as she bent to pick up her tray of food. Had she done something horrible last night? Surely she would never have drunk enough akvavit to actually get drunk – Anna mused – the taste alone was enough to prevent anything more than a small glassful from being consumed. 

Anna sat sipping her tea and gathering her resolve to ask Gerda outright what had happened at dinner. Her surmelk devoured in a matter of seconds, Anna skidded across the floor in pursuit of the housekeeper.

The curtains in the hallway were drawn, revealing impossibly blue skies. Anna allowed herself a small smile as she thought of her and Kristoff walking into the hills – such a beautiful day should be treasured. She raced to the dining hall, anticipating Gerda’s reproachful gaze as her reward for acting as un-royal as possible. 

The dining hall was empty, though Anna immediately noticed one of the chairs askew. She let a hand fall across the smooth wood, fingers tracing the crocus carved into the back. Her heart beat a dull ache into her chest. 

“Princess Anna-“ Kai’s low voice made Anna whip around, breath catching in her throat. “Ice Master Bjorgman wanted me to advise you he is waiting for you in the stables.” Kai turned quickly on his heel and left the doorway before Anna was able to resume breathing. 

**_Kristoff!_** Anna beamed. Kristoff could fill in the details of last night! Even if he wouldn’t come out with everything right away, she would _know_ if he was hiding something. She also noted she would have no qualms about weeding it out of him by any means necessary. _Maybe afterwards we can go for a walk into the mountains!_

Anna barely felt the steps from the castle to the stables, the sweet smell of the fresh air spurring her on as soon as the doors were opened. The sun was nearly blinding as she squinted into the daylight, the sky completely cloudless. Sven greeted her with a happy snort as she approached. Kristoff turned with a soft smile on his lips. “Hey there, beautiful.” 

“Hey yourself! How long have you been up? I didn’t even see a place set for you at breakfast.” Anna found herself already clinging to his arm, staring up at his handsome face expectantly. 

“I wasn’t very hungry. What do you say we go for a ride into the mountains?” Kristoff asked, already moving to adjust Sven’s carrier bags. 

“Yes! I would love to! But first I wanted to ask you about last night- do you remember dinner? Because I seem to have a big hole of nothing where dinner should be and I woke up too hot and my braids were still braids and Gerda didn’t even talk to me and I would really appreciate some information so could you please help with that?” Words tumbled over themselves as Anna stopped to let in an eager breath. 

“Dinner? Well you started to feel sick after the akavavit and Gerda took you back to your room.” Kristoff held a carrot in front of Sven for a brief second before it disappeared behind a grateful reindeer chomp. 

“I did?” Anna’s temples began to throb a steady rhythm against her skin. “We only had the one glass though, didn’t we? To go with the herring.” 

“I didn’t touch the stuff. One sip and you went very pale – Gerda said you were burning up and took you straight to bed.” Kristoff placed a hand across hers, the roughness of his fingers solidifying the explanation in her mind. _Maybe the liquor had gone off?  But why didn’t Gerda stay with me or even ask me how I was this morning?_

“I- I don’t remember any of that.” Anna whispered, veins flooding with dread.

“Must have been the fever. I’m glad you’re alright now, though.” Kristoff gave her hand a squeeze. “Shall we get going? I figured I could ride Sven and you could ride Saskia.” 

“Yeah. That sounds good.” Anna dazedly approached her horse, noting a saddle tight and stiff across its back. 

“I’ve packed some sandwiches and fruit for us. It’s pretty warm even for October.” Kristoff placed a hand on Anna’s waist, his hand helping her onto her mare. 

The earth was firmer now it had time to settle from the storms, Saskia stepping confidently onto the green, legs shifting restlessly. Anna inhaled the scent of the dirt among the blades of grass. It had been too long since she’d felt the wind in her hair; far too long since she felt free. 

“Come on, princess.” Kristoff grinned, kicking his heels into Sven’s side; launching the reindeer forward at a frightening pace. Saskia tensed beneath her, anxious for a sign she should follow suit. Anna tangled a hand into her mane, her boots digging slightly into the horse’s side. “Go.” 

Grass gave way to cobblestones, the impact of thundering hooves changing Anna’s position, muscles shifting in reaction. Kristoff and Sven were still within sight, she knew they would wait for her before venturing into the mountains. Saskia caught up at the edge of the fjord, Anna gasping at the wind lashing her cheeks a rosy red. 

They relaxed into a trot winding over low hills, inching across outcrops. Both Saskia and Sven buzzed with energy as they reached a valley. The cool autumn breeze she had felt earlier was now absent; replaced by a thick and stifling stillness. Kristoff brought Sven to a stop, dismounting fluidly, approaching a small pool of water seeping through the rocks. Anna watched him kneel and place a hand in the water, her own reaching for Saskia’s reins to steady her. 

Kristoff rose, tilting his head to the side as if listening intently to the air itself. A distant sound rumbled in Anna’s ears, just discernible. Saskia grunted, head tossing back as she reared up, catching Anna off guard. Anna slipped, half-rolling to a stop on her stomach several feet from Kristoff. 

A hand was tugging roughly at her elbow, dragging her up. Anna blinked in shock, surprised to find fear reflected in Kristoff’s eyes as he pulled her forward. _**“RUN!”**_ he screamed, pushing her in front of him, hands catching her by the waist as she stumbled to find her own feet.

Anna’s throat constricted as her lungs launched upwards; ribcage bouncing ahead of the rest of her body as she scrambled up the nearest hill, terrified and confused. The rumble grew louder as Anna tried to focus on the heat of Kristoff at her back, eyes searching desperately for the source. The dust hit her first, clouding her view as Kristoff’s arm encircled her, pulling sharply to the left. A cry escaped her lips involuntarily as she caught sight of a rock crashing down where her leg had been moments earlier. **_Avalanche_** her brain screamed in horror. 

She didn’t feel her feet touch the ground as Kristoff pushed her towards an enclave, the rock walls seamless against the cliff face. Sven brayed – Anna barely recognized the sound with such anguish in its delivery – Kristoff’s hand hard and insistent on the small of her back. The roar of the rocks soon obliterated all other sounds as Kristoff threw his full weight onto her, sliding them both into the mouth of the cave. 

The rocks greeting her landing bit into her back, her elbows bashing and scraping along stone. The neck of Kristoff’s tunic grazed her lips as she parted them to take jagged breaths. The weight of him loomed unrelenting on top of her as she freed her wrists from her sides, gripping fistfuls of fabric. She closed her eyes tight, willing them both to survive. 

Anna grunted in discomfort, astonished to find the sound travelling to her ears. The noise had finally stopped, replaced by precarious silence. A laugh of relief rushed out from her constricted lungs, her breath hot against Kristoff. A steady drip echoed, splashing against the flat, full surface. Sven whimpered softly – had he followed them into the cave? 

Suddenly the wet of Sven’s nose was nuzzling her cheek, bumping into her repeatedly. Anna smiled shakily. _They were all okay._ As soon as the thought entered her mind, it broke away like an eggshell; her hopes the yolk running through it. Kristoff hadn’t moved. **_No…_**

“Kristoff?” Anna coughed at the dust now lining her esophagus, nails digging deeper into his sides. She shifted under him, using her heels for leverage as she inched herself onto her side. Her hand met a strange warmth as she placed it atop his back. 

Having crawled out from under him, Anna braced herself on bruised knees and bloodied palms as she brought herself into a sitting position. “Kristoff?” she asked, more insistently as she forced her eyes to take in the form in front of her. 

Kristoff’s neck caught her gaze first, bent and twisting his face away from her. She reached a hand out to touch his golden hair, recoiling as she saw it. A large, angular piece of rock was protruding from his back. 

Every muscle seemed to scream in abject terror as his name died on her lips, her face suddenly numb. Her heart, her mind – _everything_ \- fell straight through her to the center of the Earth. A thin, silken thread of denial now the only thing preventing her from joining the biting wind and disappearing completely.  


	5. Chapter 5

The air is still and smells faintly of vomit. A steady, nearly rhythmic whine is emanating from Sven, his head resting on the small of Kristoff’s back, blood matting his coat.

Anna doesn’t remember clawing the walls of the cave and retching until only bile was left on her lips; fingernails broken and bleeding. There are no memories, no thoughts to occupy her mind now. Everything has given way to the terrifying present and she refuses to believe what her eyes are telling her.

She sits next to him, legs folded underneath her awkwardly. One hand woven into his hair, the other desperately pressing into his neck willing his pulse to thrum against her fingers. His flesh is cool to the touch and chills further still by the second.

Anna bends over him, murmuring his name over and over as she inches closer to his face. Kristoff’s mouth hangs open, a thin line of blood trailing from the corner of his lips down his chin. She lingers a moment, holding her breath as she waits for him to exhale. The air is still, his chest doesn’t rise or fall as the minutes pass. She breaks anew; crumpling in on herself and collapsing onto him. She wants to dissolve into the wool of his coat, to seep into his skin and loose the despair devouring her heart.

Outside the sky is still, peaceful against the desolation wrought from the earth. Sven’s ears prick up and turn to face the entrance of the cave. There’s a noise growing closer, a soft but insistent thudding, but Anna hears nothing.

“Princess Anna? Ice Master Bjorgman?” An Arendelle guard’s voice cuts across the air like a scythe. Sven lets out a low whine that turns into a growl as footsteps grow nearer.

“Princess- oh god,” the guard’s shuddering breath floats through to skim across Anna’s consciousness, “I’ve found them.”

A flurry of arms and legs and Arendelle uniforms mill around her. She barely registers Sven being pulled away, braying his dissent. Anna doesn’t stir until strong hands gently tug on her shoulders. The first sound that tries to leave her lungs is a feral hiss. The hands persist followed by a low “Princess”

“No,” Anna manages through clenched teeth, forehead still firmly pressed to the back of Kristoff’s neck. Two pairs of hands now, each attempting to get her to rise as carefully as possible.

“Princess Anna, we need to get you back to the castle. The mountains are still unstable”

“No!” She quakes a thunderous sob and digs her fingernails into the body of her love.

A third pair of hands pull at her waist and she screams. The screams keep coming, her throat raw; her knuckles whiten as she tries to keep hold of him.

“He’s gone, Princess Anna. I’m so sorry but he’s gone.”

The word swirls and crashes into her, pecking at her like a territorial bird seeking vengeance. A gloved hand is prising Kristoff from her fingers as fury rises in her stomach, burning up through her lungs.

“No no no no no NO!” Anna wails, refusing to accept the sympathy shining in the eyes of the castle guards surrounding her. “A doctor- get a doctor NOW!”

“Princess Anna- I’m so sorry but Master Bjorgman is dead.” The tallest guard’s voice drops an octave as his grip on her tightens.

Another scream rips from her and with it Anna is unhinged. The guards have only a second to collect themselves before she collapses; her conscious mind shutting down in a faint.

***

 

The ache in her throat wakes her, raw and scratchy as if she were ill. It’s a curious feeling as Anna’s sure she’s been sleeping for hours, disturbing nightmares plaguing her. She evades the other world as her eyes open, layering thoughts over the misery there.   

A quick rap at her door and Gerda is at her side, a floral tea wafting through the air. Anna moves to sit up, eyes struggling to focus.

“I hope you managed to sleep some, dear.” Gerda’s voice sounds almost sad as Anna shakes the notion from her head.

“Not much. The details are hazy but I think I had a few nightmares.”

Gerda makes a noncommittal hum before setting the tray down on the bed. “Drink some more tea, it should help to soothe you.”

“More?” How odd her throat still felt horrid if she’d had tea earlier. The cloudberry and lavender usually melted all irritation away.

“I’ve aired out and pressed your outfit, dear. I added a small bit of trim to the caplet to match- well it’s the same shade as his sash.”

“What outfit?”

Gerda is twisting her own hands so violently Anna thought she may leave marks. A sharp inhale is the only answer for several minutes as Anna rises to her feet to get a better look at the outfit in question.

Black linen, slightly faded with age meets her gaze and her brows knit into confusion. She hadn’t seen a dress like that since her parent’s funeral service.  The addition of maroon trim is jarring to look at; a vision from the future attempting to weave itself into the past.

“Gerda,” Anna speaks hardly above a whisper, “whose funeral is that for?”

“Anna, sweetheart, I’m so sorry- it’s for Ice Master Bjorgman.”

The thud of her knees hitting the floor doesn’t register to her ears; twin splinters of pain shooting through her legs to ground her. Tears stream down her face to pool under her chin but she can’t move. No words stir in her lungs, the sting of a thousand screams already carved into her throat.

Gerda can only kneel to murmur words of love and platitudes, hand stroking Anna’s hair.

***

 

The doctor keeps scolding her for not even managing a mouthful of the concoction he claims will help. He may as well try and talk the clouds from the sky and the green from the earth. Gerda is patient, bringing pot after pot of tea always with an assortment of food. Anna turns to look at the trays sometimes, wondering if the decay she feels will spread.

Two days and Gerda loses the small thread of patience left within her, screaming ( _crying_ ) for Anna to drink the tea and eat at least a few mouthfuls of bread. Anna complies, though her jaw feels unsteady with the motion. She’s made of wood and stone now, flesh and blood shrinking down to dwell in the dust floating in the air.

Gerda takes to giving her one-word commands, namely “open” when she has a spoonful ready for Anna to swallow. Gerda admits the doctor has increased the dosage and that Anna will be able to sleep soundly tonight. There’s a giddiness to her voice that sticks in Anna’s ears, resonating a precarious madness.

With bedclothes pulled up to the top of her head, Anna falls into sleep. Bones lay their tiredness out, fat and heavy, around her. Prayers whisper into her ears, hoping for solace.  

The sight of his face nearly sends her careening back to wakefulness but she sinks down further, desperate to see him. Kristoff smiles wide and Anna can no longer tell if her feet are on the ground. The rich brown of his eyes draw her closer, mesmerize her as she feels her hands find his.

“Kristoff, you’re here. I’ve **_missed_** you.” Anna rests her head against his chest. His heartbeat is so strong she gasps, lips settling into a toothy grin.

“I’m here, princess,” his voice is more honeyed than Anna remembers, sweet and smooth as his breath tickles her hair.

“They keep saying you’re dead. But you’re here. Why are they keeping you from me?” It’s a silly delivery but Anna very much wants to know the truth.

“I’ll always be here. But you have to wake up.” Kristoff’s hands are warm and gentle on her back and a bloom of happiness spreads through her chest.

“No, I want to stay.”

“Anna, please, wake up.”

“You’ll be there when I do?” Anna breathes in his tunic, fingers curling into the sash at his waist.

“You need to wake up.”

The fog in her head clears slowly, light filtering to pry her eyelids open. She almost lets a whimper past her lips when she realizes Kristoff isn’t there, her lungs tightening in grief. The mourning dress is still hung up in the corner of the room, shadows looming long across the floor.

It takes a minute for Anna to feel the fabric draped around her shoulders, the heavy winter quilt bunched further down the bed. She stares a second before it clicks in her, thumb and forefinger sliding over material.

She’s wrapped in Kristoff’s sash.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a time she crumples rather wearily to the floor, palms catching her fall as her knees bruise gently. She curls up on her side and waits for the end of her misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please heed the following trigger warnings: extreme angst (like, colossal angst), implied mental illness, and (notions of) suicide.

“Anna, dear, have you not slept?”

Anna startles at Gerda’s voice, struggling to focus her gaze in the dim. It felt like hours since she’d woken up but she couldn’t recall anything apart from folding her legs under her to sit on the bed instead of simply laying down atop it.  

“It doesn’t matter,” Anna says, the cool of Gerda’s hand touching her forehead briefly, “look-“

Gerda puzzles at her a moment before reaching to take the fabric from Anna’s outstretched hands, running her thumbs along the hemline before folding it into a square. 

“Were you cold in the night, dear? We can assign a guard to keep the fires burning more strongly throughout the night, if so,” Gerda clucks her tongue at the dying embers, watching Anna’s face carefully. The fabric square placed on her bedside table.

Anna furrows her brow, “No, I wasn’t cold!”

Gerda gives a small nod and moves to open the curtains.

“It’s Kristoff-“ Anna says fiercely.

“I’m sorry if your sleep was troubled, Anna love, I’ll send for the doctor to see if we can’t get something stronger to calm you,” Gerda spoke soothingly, measuring her tone as though she feared what words may escape her lips.

“I don’t need any of that stuff, Gerda, Kristoff’s sash was around my shoulders when I woke up!” Anna feels her skin prickle as she raises her voice, as though admitting it out loud has made her hairs stand at attention.

“Why don’t I make your favourite breakfast this morning, hmm?” Gerda smiles placidly at her, smoothing a hand down the dress she held aloft for Anna to wear.

Anna fumes, launching herself off the bed to stand on wobbly legs. “Don’t- don’t you know what this means?”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about dear, but whatever is troubling you I’m sure breakfast will help.”

“Kristoff is **_alive!_** This sash proves it!” Anna yells, her anger rapidly dissolving into a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

Gerda stares at her with a mixture of horror and pity. “I’m so sorry you missed the funeral dear, you weren’t remotely well enough to attend…”

Anna lets a laugh erupt from her lips, spinning around to grab the sash from her bedside table. “Gerda, how else can you explain this?”

“That’s **enough**!” Gerda roars, voice breaking at the unnatural volume, “it’s just one of your scarves, Anna – you must stop this.”

Anna blinks, fearful the housekeeper has gone madder than even she feels. “You- you can’t see it’s his sash?”

“I think it may be best to stay in your room today, Anna.” Gerda sighs before striding across the room to pull the door behind her, Anna’s outfit for the day left in a heap on the foot of the bed.

Anna lets her tears fall as soon as she hears the soft click of the door being locked. 

 

***

 

Anna stirs to the feeling of a slow rumble in her stomach – something she hasn’t felt in days. A plate of pastries and fruit has somehow appeared on her dresser and she nearly flies toward it in her haste, shovelling baked good after baked good into her mouth as though it’s been centuries.

“That’s my girl,” Kristoff chuckles. Anna spins on the spot to locate him in the flesh, desperate to feel his arms around her again.

“ _Kristoff?”_  Anna manages after swallowing her belated breakfast. Sunshine is streaming through the windows yet she cannot find any trace of him. She opens her wardrobe to check if he’s hiding but finds only gowns.

“Where are you?” Anna pleads, breakfast now a solid lump of lead in her stomach.

“I’m right here, Anna. I’m with you.” The tenderness in his voice, still disembodied, is ripping any remaining vestiges of sanity from her mind. Surely a ghost would mimic more than speech – especially one whose arms she found herself in last night.

After a time she crumples rather wearily to the floor, palms catching her fall as her knees bruise gently. She curls up on her side and waits for the end of her misery.

The end eludes her when she wakes what must be hours later; only the softest hum of surprise in her throat as she finds Kristoff’s tunic across her like a blanket. 

 

***

The evening brings with it a strange peace – Anna changed into her loosest gown and clothed her increasingly cold legs with tights. Gerda raises her eyebrows at the change but doesn’t speak of it, opting instead to sing quietly to herself as she pours a cup of tea. The evening has also brought soup and fresh bread, which Anna finds herself appreciative of.

The clink of the spoon swirling around her teacup is a very specific alarm alerting Anna to the bottle of medicine next to the dinner tray.  Gerda has no doubt concealed a dose within her tea. A slow simmer of resentment starts to edge its way beside the growl of hunger in her stomach, but Anna stays silent. Once Gerda places the tray on the bed she sweeps Anna’s hair into a quick bun fastening it with a ribbon and cups her cheek with affection before exiting the room.

Anna glances to the dresser, enthralled by the amber glow of the medicine bottle against the candlelight. She slips off the bed to pad across the floor, splinters of wood catching on the fabric on her feet. She snatches the bottle as though it may dissolve and clutches it close to her chest as she makes her way back to the safety of her bed.

It hides in her periphery on her bedside table as she wolfs down her soup, crumbs of bread covering her dress like a snowfall once she’s done. Lifting the tea to her nose she inhales the cloying sweetness, trying to decipher just how much the taste will be altered with the elixir the doctor has prescribed. Anna puts it down in favour of examining the bottle – curiosity rushing through her veins.

The label simply states “ _Sleep Tonic_ ” – innocuous enough in description. Anna’s eyes flit immediately to the recommended dosage printed on the back, particularly the “ _do not exceed three spoonfuls in per day_ ”.

She wonders just how much Gerda has been slipping into her tea recently. Likely one dose in the morning and one before bed, as those were the times Gerda liked to hover until the tea had at least been sipped. Anna couldn’t recall having had any more than a small mouthful of tea that morning – though consciousness and blessed dreaming were seamless for her these days. Had she even _had_ breakfast? Or had that been part of her sleeping life?

The life she preferred.

Perhaps she should stay asleep if it meant keeping Kristoff close. Even now her name was being whispered, just on the edge of her hearing, as though he were speaking underwater.

Anna licked the spoon clean of any remaining soup before steadying it in her hand, teeth making quick work of opening the tonic bottle. Another spoonful would keep her sleeping longer – another spoonful meant more time near the man whose very heart beat with her own. Once the spoonful had been hastily stirred into her rapidly cooling tea, she downed it in one gulp.

Sleep came to claim her like flames kissing her limbs. 

***

 

A sharp clap of thunder awakens Anna and she bolts upright in bed. The tonic, whatever use it has been, has worn off without the slightest trace. She feels as though she never needs to sleep again, in fact, as her senses sharpen with each passing second.

**_“ANNA!”_ **

Chills skitter across her skin as she recognizes Kristoff’s voice booming loudly from the hallway. The echo resonating in her bones is pulling her from bed, arms gathering his tunic to pull over her gown as she shuffles towards her door. It opens smoothly, no lock having been set for the night.

Anna’s heart is beating into her ears as she waits for his voice to sound again. Where was he shouting from and why wouldn’t he come to her directly? Her own voice rests just behind her tongue, hesitant to awaken the entire castle lest she be banished back to bed.

_“Anna!”_ Kristoff’s voice sounds again, quieter but somehow more insistent than the original bellow.

Her feet cannot carry her fast enough down the stairs as she’s certain now of the direction it’s come from. She rounds the corner to the ballroom and the sight visible in the moonlight is enough to steal all breath from her lungs.

Hans is standing there, white gloves flexing as he lets out laugh after laugh.

She isn’t sure what trick is being played but she is sure she’s had enough of it. With wide, determined strides Anna closes the distance between them – hands balling into tight fists. Without a word her punches land across the angles of his face again and again.

Anna feels no pain, no blood on her knuckles, yet she continues. As her shoulder rolls into another punch her fist sails instead through the air – a fuzzy outline of white and gold and red fading from view.

Shock settles firmly into her chest as she inhales the silence around her. No thunder, no cries of her name, no laughter meet her ears. Not even the rush of wind rattling against castle windows.

“Kristoff?”Anna manages to croak, unsure if the sound has left her mouth or merely bounced around her skull. “I’m scared.”

The words feel too hollow to describe her rising terror.

“Please- please find me. I need you.”

Oddly enough the terror subsides into acceptance as her vision goes black.


End file.
